Woke in my Mothers bed again. So lovely to be surrounded by her things. Down at 9 in my pegnoir. J v. unsteady and hyperventilating. Clutching the sink. Pale as death. “Feel so ill”
Justine arrived driving boyfriend’s black beamer
She is remarrying in Jan. How brave to bust up when things seriously wrong. I was not so brave. Asked her all about it, How are the kids how was it….really the break up and all? then J barked, “Justine!” From the other room Real force. Remembered how horrible he is after all. Bossy, horrible – hated even by his children, as Mummy used to say. I apologised for delaying her in front of him. Her ex husband re-married last week so all well. There is a lot of it about these days.
We stayed till 2pm. Children on devices me in Mummys study sorting through papers. Found my parents Divorce petition papers. Chilling.
Finally found all the photos I wanted and we were off. Via chat with Mrs Pennant. To Mummys grave via Nacton and old haunts. I stopped and picked Himalayan Balsam to lay on grave. We saw muntjac in a field nearby then via Lev Hall to Orford. I slept while kids went up the Castle. Losing energy for sure. Then via Snape to Sax and Joannie. Dinner and many many revelations… about the family
The River Files 