Excruciatingly boring Australian friend OFT’s for dinner last night. Spent whole dinner in zombiefied stupour with fixed smile in place ….my lips sealed with marron glace….(sorry dear Reader – cant find accent aigue on this keyboard). OFT in full ‘Street Angel*’ mode – all servile and humble and virtue signalling like mad – doing his best Uriah Heep impression. I love Aussie frankness though. OFT served a crab starter to my shepherds pie main saying “when in this area, so close to the sea one simply must have fresh crab”. He hovered over her as she picked up her fork to spear the delicacy …expecting rapturous response.
She said, in manner of Dame Edna, (same age same accent) “Seafood – I don’t like it but if I must eat it I will. Definitely not my first choice though.”
Under the guise of blowing my nose, I sniggered into my napkin.
*
“As in, devil in the house angel in the street”
The River Files 