Author: riverfiles

The world is in chaos, all glued to the news and the appalling situation in Ukraine. Terrible atrocities beting committed, deprivation, panic, suffering death and yet just when it should not, an irksome neighbourhood slight rears its head.

Tried my best to swat it away, unimportant (as it is in the grand scheme etc), but well…..I think I am becoming my Mother. I once spent a time as a proper grown up, living close to her and dipping in and out of the relentless, social whirl that was the lot of the retired, County socialite.

I will never be like that, I said. So trivial. So preoccupied. So conservative. The same people of the same age and class circulated all the time, all with similar sized houses, gardens and incomes. Newcomers very seldom admitted and none of them went more than 7 days without seeing the others in the big house group, unless they were some or other exotic holiday.

“They must be so bored” I thought and sometimes said, out loud. “I mean they just see each other every single week and always at the same gorgeous but nonetheless boring, houses”

So how did it happen to me?

It went like this. Few months ago a friend sent me a photo from Country Life of a grand house, very close to me, very dilapidated and in need of extensive rennovation . My friend captioned it, “A good project for someone”

“Yeah!” I texted back. Then, at a posh do recently someone asked me where lived. When I told them about the Riverfiles base, theys aid, “Oh you must meet friend x who has just moved there very close to you from y“

“Oh, how nice” I said and added that I thought I had seen the house in Country life

“They are giving a party on March x date, I will get you invited”

“Oh thank you, we look forward to welcoming them to the area” So I freed up a space in the diary and waited and waited (thinking about only once in a while as have nuch bigger fish to fry) and by yesterday was even checking junk mail. Nothing. Nada. So far so good. Who cares?, we will run into them at some time. All would have been forgotten, except that today

We went out early afternoon and ran into our neighbour who said “You’ll never guess, we have just spent the morning with people who contacted us out of the blue with an invitation”

My hackles rose. Yes- it was them “How big was the party I asked trying not to sound interested in the reply” I also knew that other neighbours had been invited. “We’ve had that invitation on our mantlepiece for weeks” kind of thing.

“Oh about 30 just for them to get to know neighbours amazing, really nice couple and their children and such delicious eats”

Thing is …..we are closer neighbours than they are and with what is generally considered to be a more coveted property. Why on earth mind? Who cares. Instead for some reason learning more details and that all and sundry locally had been asked I felt like I had been slapped in the face with a wet fish. Oh well. I guess I should get out more……..I have become my Mother.

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A lot was accomplished this week in terms of infant steps.  Have been listening, half-heartedly to a podcast which comes free on Audible called “I will tell you exactly what to do” Definitely chimes on a few levels –  much she loathes and hates exercise in all is forms, but does it nonetheless. Right there with her.

Author talks about “Motivation”  – no such thing as…. according to her. you just have to force yourself to do things, especially when you least want to-

You must confront the chore and count backwards from as in “5,4,3,2,1 BOOM!  JUST do it” she says

How much she abhorrs routine chores, making beds, doing laundry Cat litter, dog excercising etc  also how we can all take baby steps, “build lego bricks” to make a “shiny new life.”

So my baby steps this week are_

1)Asked for a pay rise when CEO of work came for a State visit to my area. I wrote him a letter and asked HR to hand it to him.

2)Removed my wedding ring . (With difficulty)

3) Got one of the children to make their own pizza  (Yeast, flour, warm water,  etc)

Had some kind friends round to dinner.

Little steps, little lego bricks…..

Removed my wedding ring today. Much time spent wrestling it off in the bath with soap and warm water but finally, after a wrench over my gnarled, gruesome old knuckles, it was off. Hooray. Liberty

Inspired by Helen Thorns “How to be D*** and b happy. She recounts a wonderful scene in a fire station with 3 brawny, crew, her best friend, a bucket of ice and some sort of lubricaton, but eventually her ring was off.

Aside from that, it was very odd today passing shops brimming with red, heart-shaped helium baloons and signs saying “Come on in and see our wide range of Valentines….” …only to want to do a Dionne Warwick (Walk on by) and have nothing to do with

The thing is…

Just in case OFT produces a card, I will have to reciprocate (ugh – how false) and so I set about finding the least romantic one possible. How do you buy a Valentines card for a person you don’t like alone…lerve. Quite a feat ………finally found one about urinating on a jellyfish sting. The card is in the house but will remain in its wrapper and we await developments…Hopefully it will stay there and nothing will said about V day.

What has happened? Not sure really. So busy with mass vaccination campaign and everything else.

Today is something of a watershed. In the activity centre with the not so young ones again and for the first time, decided none of us would put on masks.

We went in and we were not alone. The veil has been cast off! Not a soul to be seen in a mask – man woman or child. Oh, think I just spotted a chap over there…no it is his beard, not a mask. That is the one bad thing about unmasking, we will be able to view those ghastly beards again…….

Meanwhile the vaccination programme appears to be fizzling out somewhat. Last Monday went to work in major, mass vac centre in huge industrial unit which was bitterly, shockingly cold. The NHS people wore orange fleeces and had ipads to check people in with, only there were no …um..people.

A centre which at its height “processed” 2,000 vaccinees per day had just 150 bookings.

Cold, vast, empty, and me feeling superfluous. “Well, you could always sit at the table and do some online learnin’ ” (sic)

Uh, Ok. I find myself talking more and more like Kendal Roy in “Succession” for some odd reason. As in, “What do you think Ken?”

“Uh Ok. Well I guess that would work in my headspace”

That TV series is revolting but compelling. I am also descending into the realms of the foul language used continually and having to curb self.

I note both Brian Cox and Sarah Snook felt they were swearing more having worked on it.

But back to the mass vacc centre. The men controlling the car park twiddling their thumbs in the freezing cold and adjusting their high viz vests. I then became so cold had to ask to go home early, so frozen was I

At the end of the week vaccinating again in huge sports centre gym. Just 2 “pods” I was the only NHS vaccinator present/required.

A good day but again very sparsely attended. Many youngsters brought in by parents after school and one or two others but essentially, the fire seems to have gone out of the campaign.

The naval doctor Lady who came to help us, came up and said one man had been hurried and furtive and she could not quite put her finger on it.

“Looking over his shoulder, giving his details really quickly, sort of hurrying me on”

I told her I had encountered similar once or twice before, always in the young and I suspect they were anti vaxers sneaking off and away to get vaccinated. To have been seen emerging from any vaccination centre with the blue, PHE card would no doubt be seen as a terrible betrayal to the “movement” so it was in and out, quick jab and and hope not to be seen.

Naval doctor girl scratched her head and said she had not thought of that.

Meanwhile driving up the Motorway yesterday in the sun, animal towed on back, we encountered a “freedom convoy” escorted by the police and many families leaning over the motorway bridges and waving country and sometimes Union flags.

Some had makeshift signs on the side of their vans, “My body, my right!”

or “Don’t vaccinate your children!”

We got home late afternoon to find OFT’s car in the car park (as ever…..does that man ever want to go out and do anything? I despair of him and his retirement) and absolutely filthy. With the recent foul weather it has recently become impossible to discern the true colour of this vehicle.

Today the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee commences. She has announced that The Duchess of Cornwall be given the title Queen Consort when Charles ascends to the throne…..future planning. Succession indeed.

I really enjoy my sessions with the podiatrist.

She is very good and very funny.

“Golly!”  Is her exclamation of choice. “Well I mean Golly!” 

And mid podiatry session there is to be “joint mobilisation” .   The most marvellous of experiences – expensive but worth it.

She measured my feet today. This is because she noticed a “micro trauma on the right,  great, toenail”  and photographed it with her Ipad. “I will add it to your notes. It is usually caused by footwear a size too small”  She produced an official foot measuring scale. I was taken right back to Clarks in  Braintree to my extreme youth and saw myself in thick, grey school socks having them measured. I placed right heel in the back, and the slidy thing slid back from the top onto toes and the tape measure width across the top.

“Hmm well, what size do you wear?”

“Size 8.  42”

“Right, well, in your right foot you are a size 10 ”  Gulp.  yikes.  I stared down at them measure in disbelief.   ” So you mean size 10 American?”

She did not reply but looked at the scale.

“American size 10 which is an English size 8?” I continued.

“No English size 10 which would make you an American size 12”

Oh my GOD.  She  then swapped to the left foot.  “Size 9, a whole size smaller than your right foot”

But still not a size 8 which I have been squeezing into for years

Oh dear. The ancient Chinese practice of foot binding is alive and well in my shoe cupboard, and has beens for years….

“There are specialist shops” she said kindly, “where you can get plus size shoes and odd sizes”

Help!

I like her because mid podiatry manoeuvre she will suddenly hum rather endearingly “Tum di tum di tum di tum”

Took the young ‘un who is not so young any more, sailing earlier in the day. We nailed it but … so cold even with new Helly Hansen on plus thermal vests I was frozen solid for several hours after. Many lovely, kind Volunteers to get us going.

After had to have the in car heating system on full blast and warp speed for what seemed like hours before my fingers which had actually turned from yellow, to white to pale green, thawed out.

Just shocking.

Just over 10 weeks first

I am feeling armed and dangerous. (Not)

It is done. In 14 days apparently I can consider myself immune

Given it by a retired GP and v charming he was too. We had a little chat about his days as a naval doctor.

There was a foul, bossy Sloane Ranger in car park marshaling however. Wielding a thumbstick with a xarvd horn end- really?and all in posh in a tweed hat ….former hospital matron of a bygone age?

She held up hand her hand and pushed it towards cars for emphasis to stop traffic She banged her stick on the car park floor. Such a contrast to everyone else who were so charming. I feel a complaint coming on.

Above all I shall take away there were so very many very elderly people attending alone. Wheelchairs. Zimmers walking unsteadily on 2 sticks. Lingering to talk to the officials just for someone to speak to. I felt so sad I wanted to cry.

We all had to sit for 25 mins anaphylaxis surveillance in an outdoor gazebo with plastic flaps dividing us up. No one spoke. Everyone looked sad.

That is me! 85 People vaccinated par moi yesterday afrernoon at local Football stadium.

My sharps bin overfloweth

Amazing teamwork Nice people. Couldnt ask 4 more… as I drove back in the only just dark, my headlights caught two tiny objects on the lane ahead. By the time I get close enough to see that they were baby rabbits, it was too late to stop. Swoosh. I went over – dreading the inevitable clunk. But there was none. They and I had got away with it. Baby rabbits? Spring definitely is here.

For that man.

Tonight I discovered he had torn up and disposed of an important and potentially historic letter I had set aside for River Sprite. Even worse he smirked about it and made light of the act in front of others. Just been thru 3 inside bins and one, once rubber gloves on, outside. Actually too angry to continue. More later….maybe.

At work. Listening to Ken Bruce piped through our work area. The man is a genius at keeping us all going and foot tapping.

I am noticing how people (anyone) younger than me uses what my Dad used to call, “barrack room language” in the workplace very often. Mostly the men of course, actually come to think of it the women only swear when they drop something and very quietly. But the men at work. Quite foul. Bit of a jolt each time. Keep hearing the adults of my youth saying  in voices of the distant past, “you should have your mouth washed out with soap!”

Anyone else noticed that?  Almost a sort of showing off. Who can say the very worst thing and the rest of us must not react.