Author: riverfiles

I have been advised a close friend that after a weekend of being bullied, scorned and treated with utter derision by a repulsive 13 yr old – masquerading as a human – that  a period of complete aloofness from her should be instigated.

“Blank her out.  Confuse her. Baffle her by sudden onset of disinterest and distance. She will be bewildered”.

This is what my B F said.   She  (vile River Sprog hereafter known in this Blog as VRS) has been utterly foul to the blogger all week. The buck has to stop somewhere. Oh Yes. God save us from teenage girls.

Bet u can’t wait.

I have left the rural idyll (what a horrible shock) and driven up the M5 to a biggish, posh, unfamiliar town town to spend evening with River Ewe lamb before lockdown. When will I see him again?

I am reminded, next morning having to go outside to move car, that there are degrees of risk taking.

You should know that I am known (mocked) for being so risk averse and generally terrified of catching Covid, that most people laugh at me. So I am today amazed to see people of all ages in this spacious town, walking about and taking what I consider to be an unnecessary step – that is the wearing of their masks outside.

Risk assessment by River Files Blogger.

1) I do not consider to be at risk of catching Covid AT ALL when outside in a wide open space. Not at all and would never consider wearing a mask in such a circumstance.

I do not consider myself at risk even if indoors with low ceiling, limited ventilation in work- provided that can be in full, work-style PPE . Aprons, masks, goggles and visors. Biggles in blue when I’m at work- that’s me.

I only remove mask once per day in such a situation. Lunch hour. Out into open air car park where I remove (rip off) my mask, gulp in fresh air and collapse into my car for 30 mins mask and goggle free bliss short snooze. Never would I have believed in my life fresh air could be such a precious resource.

But ! I feel very much at risk indoors -any kind of indoors without a mask with anyone except my bubble and even with the children with I am now v cautious.

Meanwhile must tell you about my terrible Covid related dream…

….Who from their labours rest.. .what a miserable Halloween. Couldn’t even persuade the children to light the carved pumpkin. Why bother? No one to see it.

This time 3 years ago I remember coming across our neighbour trick or treating in the village. Then we went out to Church House Inn for dinner with them. I wore a red, bandage dress and fluffed up my hair. Such a thing a distant memory now

No socialising these days. Masks. Visors, gloves aplenty. A new lockdown from Thursday 5th announced tonight. Disgusting.

Remember Remember the 5th November indeed

I think the vaccine teams Oxford; Imperial etc need a RPG thrown into their camp’s. Get a bloody move on !. Cut corners. Do your Challenge trials. Lower the bar. Don’t “wait for ethical approval” knock on doors. Get ethical approver people out of their stuffy meetings and be proactive.

Back to work for first time since March 11h

My workplace is transformed. Masks and aprons and everyne indistinguishable. Rather a relief really.

No point putting on make up or doing hair when it is all squashed by the elasticated straps of the mask and foam bits of the visor face shield.  I look a mess but then no one can see me.

Great thing about masks is you can yawn⁹ profoundly behind them, burp silently and pull faces and no one is any the wiser.

So good to be back though.  Met many, many people however – all masked but can’t help thinking it is a risk.

So what are you cooking tonight?

“I dunno babes,  Scampi, lasagne or burgers.  What about you babes?”

How I have missed the water cooler chat…. Please God let me NEVER have to retire.

Since I posted. Now it is Autumn and I have stopped wearing shorts. Back into leg prisons and we have had our first drawing room fire.

Waterproof trousers worn on 2 lovely walks this weekend . Bolt tail to Bolberry and Prawle point to Gammon head. Sunday. Warm day. Too hot for coats. Extraordinary. Soon this benign weather will become distant memory. Took many pics of sea/coast with sole objective of creating interesting Zoom backgrounds.

Warm breeze blowing in our faces. Bluest of seas. Few white horses. Two tankers out in the Channel A few intrepid sailors. Little white dots out on ocean.

I woke v energised as had been talked last night by ewe lamb into …pause for sharp intake of own breath …..selling problem property which I love so very much. “Get bloody rid”

Full of solutions. Felt like a million dollars great weight lifted etc. The insurance will reinstate the house to brand new after flooding and I should “sell when new paint smell and new carpets there He is so Right. “

I will cast off the millstone. Sally forth unencumbered. Future looks bright.

“I can see clearly now.” Poor Johnny Nash died this week.

Good things this week luciev came to stay. We moved master bed out to clear muck out. Mass of tissues . Fluffy dust grim.

Another thought that occurred today in witnessing the sea of face coverings that was the train, and London, Reading and Oxford and everywhere basically

1) You can no longer tell if a lovely, fresh faced young man has a beard or not.

So many smooth skinned good lookers about the train and Paddington. Smooth foreheads, expressive eyes. I wonder if they have succumbed to the the dreaded plague of adopting the young man’s beard/face fur or not? Hope so. With their masks on can imagine them without at least and not become disillusioned. Sigh. How lovely

2) The mask wearing phase must be a great relief to all teenagers and youngsters with acne. Pustules, white and blackheads and red lumpy bits on the chin, no more to be seen, unless of course it is spread to the forehead….

I am at Reading station awaiting a delayed train

Mercifully there is a breeze on this, the hottest day of the year.  I have managed to find a seat on a bench  I am learning to watch the occupants like hawks to spot signs of the slightest movment  like a Buzzard mounted on a telegraph pole. The slightest twitch and I am in position smiling hopefully at the moving one, only they can’t see that under my 2 protective masks (old habits die hard)   Then plonking myself down.

Sitting here typing with young girls all around me in summery, long skirts and tops. All sleeveless, tatoos on rippling flesh bursting out of the arm holes. Sorry to say but I am astonished at the general corpulence of the young, female population of the UK, particularly outside side London.

They are vast beyond belief but this does seem to stop them from displaying flesh at  every opportunity. Great flabby arms hanging out of sleeveless tops. Bottoms and things hanging over the GWR waiting seats on platforms

When they eat, (and they do often but then,  so do I when waiting for trains and if there is a cafe handy) they have to lower their masks briefly to stuff in another portion of high calorie food. 

It reminds me of a time in Jordan at Ashtar Ma’in Springs in the hotel near the Dead Sea.

A family were dining at the next table to us, the Wife in full Niqab, only eyes visible.   I wondered how she might eat when food came to their table but then saw a flap twitching like a  heavy black, net curtain as it briefly parted and the laden fork passed in.

We are all eating like that now.  All over public places people

furtively lowering their masks and shovelling food in…..

Struck by the statue of I.K.Brunel in Paddington station. He was the only person, sitting relaxed with legs casually crossed as he is, who was not wearing a mask.

Felt a tremendous, childish urge to dig in my bag, produce one and step up onto his plinth and apply it.

I am in London on the hottest day of the year starving hungry having travelled up to attend a blood test. Fasting glucose. I have a low blood sugar headache . Blood sugar levels a tad high apparently. Must be all the drinking done in lockdown. London is a near ghost town.

I received a wonderful phone call yesterday. It was from my hairdresser. Omg!

I have been offered an appointment for just after mid July. I want to scream with delight. “What will u be able to do?” The “full Monty” ,… he says. I am in paroxysms of joy. I take that to mean high and low lights. Overall tint. Cut and blow dry.

I will emerge smooth, sleek and tinted to perfection with hair that bounces and shines. . It has not escaped my notice in lockdown, that the front of my head has become a sinister, snowy, white band. ( If not for the occasional application of L,’Oreal root touch up from bathroom cupboard.. ). Utter ecstasy. It has been absolutely. horrible. Have told him I will be wearing a mask and gloves. He says he will not.

He says I must bring cash as NO CARD machine. I will bring goats, camels, girls, boys – whichever preferred and or gold bullion. Whatever it takes.

Meanwhile listened to Today as ever from approx 0845, my usual awakening (but not rising) time. Mishal H interviews Grant Chaps. Not sure if I could have survived the lockdown without the Today programme and the divine Miss (or Mrs) H. She is coherent, persistent yet charming with the most velvety voice and all so barbarically early. Can’t help wondering if…well does she ever go out and get pissed?