The River Files

Woke to find a tick had attached itself to my “poitrine” this morning. How disgusting. Luckily River Sprite is of age to help and ran down to get dogs tick hook thingy from kitchen drawer. She removed it expertly. Its pincer things were still wiggling. Had a red mark at the site rest of the day. Couldnt help thinking about the cartoon chatacter,, “The Tick” who was blue as I recall and once got trapped in a phone box in New York and couldn’t dial as he had no arms. Primroses are finally on the wane now. Not sure I ever remember them being so brilliant as this year. Saw first one bravely poking out of a hedge in a cruel, bitter wind on February 4th. Bluebells, red (pink) campion and wild garlic in the ascendant. Couldn’t resist collecting some yesterday and with River Sprite made wild garlic and chicken pesto.

Drove somewhere today. Defiantly but technically it was essential shopping. had to collect some meat. The beast, fine Devon red bullock, slaughtered 31st March, hung for 3 weeks then took a week to butcher it.

Stopped at filling station on A38 . Only other car on the usually busy forecourt contained a man who got out in green uniform with Ambulance written across his back. Felt a bit guilty. Filling up was a swift process. A safety screen at the till and no pork pies. Drat. There was however a cheese and onion sandwich. There is a God. Wiped down with sanitiser before prizing it open and wolfing down. Sheer joy of eating filling station, bought food. Felt like real contraband Only £22 to top up. Car last filled up Mon 23rd March. Lockdown was announced that day. Have only used car twice since- to get meds from pharmacy.

Have sometimes looked at my car in the 5 weeks and wondered if I should start it – keep it ticking over. Last week forayed to post office with important package. A sunny day but a chilling experience. 4 miles to nearest market town and not a car on the roads. Nothing. Not even a white van. Eeerie driving all alone. As if a space ship had been down and scooped up all the humans and flown off.

Looked at Dartmoor on my right. Very beautiful but very closed apparently. Funny to think I was really going to explore it this summer. Do the mythical “Abbots Way” Now wonder if I will ever make it back there.

On meat fetching trip today saw the blazing yellow of huge fields of oilseed rape. Realised as we have none locally it was the first spring I have not seen it while driving about. A much missed seasonal marker. Boris Johnson is back to work today.

River Sprite solemnly got up early yesterday to Register for school day. She logged onto laptop and waited and waited. Nothing.

2 other pupils in her tutor group appeared as typed in names on her laptop screen. Apparently it is inset day. What an effing ridiculous waste of a day

Another mega vivid one early today. OFT was wearing some kind of mesh top or vest to strim the garden. Thing is, it was see thru. Like a workmen’s protective, gauze top- bit like a bee keepers veil, but worn around the torso. Definitely to be worn over something else – a t shirt? Only he had nothing underneath except a girls trainer bra. White, no underwire and an A cup max. He wasn’t embarrassed. Nothing offered by way of explanation. No one sure how to react. The children looked confused. So….. the other half is strimming the lawn in boots, jeans, goggles harness and a mesh top with white bra clearly visible underneath? Whatever next. Almost scared to go to sleep these days. .

So many vivid dreams of late.

Last night’s was really convincing. OFT had fallen in love with lovely but taciturn young lady who used to clean our house once per week That was until lockdown.

In the dream I surprised then whispering endearments furtively in the en suite bathroom. They were so passionate. When they saw me outside bathroom, staring at them stony faced they looked like cornered rats. Later they got married. So vivid. She had been given elocution lessons by him, prior to the big day. She (they) looked so happy on their wedding day. I was invited to the wedding and attended as sort of an “old friend”. She wore a fabulous, frothy, meringue dress. I was in despair in the congregation. OFT, that most loathsome of reptiles, but my reptile none the less, was gone forever.

So glad to wake from that one.

22 deg at midday and 5pm

All quiet and still in lockdown. Went on bike to dispose of empties. Call the midwife basket mounted on front fairly groaning with pressure. Had to stop and unzip paniers on back behind seat and put some there. The sheer amount of booze being consumed by just 2 people is nothing short of shocking.

Such warm air  blowing on my face. Heaven to be on a bike. Beautiful hedgerows- bluebells making strong appearance  now as is wild garlic.  Lambs bleating and frisking in the fields oblivious to fact that human race brought to its knees. No farmyard plots against Mr Jones needed now. No cars in lane. Local petrol station sombre with the nice, blonde young man marshalling people out on the forecourt. Only 3 allowed in at once. Only one till with safety screen, he explained. Bare of cars. Half expected to see tumbleweed rolling along the main street. I put on vinyl gloves in the queue as I waited my turn.

I encountered a man near the pasta while looking for bread sauce mix. We both jumped and recoiled and sprang apart. Then gave each other faintly embarrassed smiles. This is what life has come to.

OFT did not shave again today. A very disconcerting development All grey and spiky stubble. Watched “Outbreak” when we could tear ourselves away from the News. Priti Patel deputising for our hospitalised leader, looking very pretty indeed I thought and delivered great speech and hosted ace Q and A session. Fab make up. Would love to get her tips. OFT pointed out she is a midget in stature which I had not noticed and that she was standing on a special black box to reach the Mike, like a child on tiptoes reaching up to read the lesson in Assembly.

Back to “Outbreak” 1995. Dustin Hoffmann Kevin Spacey and Rene Russo oh and Sean Penn and dear old Donald Sutherland. Bit close to home really. Virus from monkey mutated to man. Deadly and swift and airborne. “Signs to look out for – fever and a cough”

Went out late at night to lock door. The gorgeous feel of a warm night when it has been hot all day.

OFT did not shave yesterday. What a sinister development. Stubbly white stuff sprouting oddly at his chin like Wilfred Bramble in Steptoe.

Meanwhile have discovered the most marvellous beauty maintenance product. Hairdresser? No need.

A night of restless, haunted dreams. So glad to wake up. On a crowded train with the children.  It was pre-corona virus so the crowded bit didnt matter. Happened to be in the loo when to my horror,  train pulled in at our station. Not ready to get off and ran back to seat, frantically getting bags off overhead racks  retrieving other bags from floor, childrens shoes that had been kicked off my bluetooth earpiece that was projected forth from ear onto other persons lap. Missed the stop. Had to go on. When we did get off at next stop, it was Ascot of all places. Why? Had to look up trains going backwards but try as I might couldnt get any information. Then realised I had left all my bags in station “Ladies” . Someone came out with them. “Are these yours?”

But my computer was not among them. Nightmare. Trotting up and down trying to find it. Realised all my hard discs containing back up were in there too when at least one should have heen left at home Then suddenly OFT was there. On the platform. Only he didn’t look at us. Not once. His face was turned away from our little family group, literally and figuratively. It was obvious he had fallen in love with the wife of a friend we had an actual, non-dream Zoom meeting with over the weekend.

I was in despair. He looked so happy and carefree with her. So invigorated. So attentive. And young. Best he’d looked in years.

Glad to wake from that one.

Now I understand. A very lovely boy disappeared from River Sprite’s school a while ago. Home schooling we learned . Oh yes. Quite understood. Parents card carrying hippies- alternative, vegan types with, pierced- noses and cobalt-blue streaks in their hair. Then ….not long after…well, maybe 2 terms later he mysteriously reappeared . No explanation offered apparently. So demure. Good haircut. Immaculate uniform, beautifully pressed. Lovely to see him back! How so? Now I understand. I am struggling with the mundanity and repetitive nature of home schooling. The most GHASTLY of all occupations.

Fuming with rage, pouring over the bloody books and wretched Google Classroom. Have to actually sit on my hands the while, in case I explode, tear my hair out in large clumps and run round kitchen howling like a wolf and spraying urine. This is hell, unremitting hell.

All over Britain parents must be wringing their hands with the utter and complete misery of it.

Lots of cleaning of the ‘ouse today. Inutterably boring. MR Sheen and Dettol floor wipes going at warp speedall day as well as contacting LPG provider.

Fab walk along river bank. River still and completely clear, revealing stones below. Heavenly birdsong. Wood anemones white and blue and early (very) bluebells , daffs drooping in decline now. Primroses hammering on. A buzzard mews. Marsh celandine and such a great sense of the possible .

I have taken bull by horns in face of total income withdrawal of early this week and contacted the Guarantor. Watch this space