The River Files

Cycled half a mile to bottle bank. Roads so desolate. Only tractors with tailors on move. Parked bike and hurled in bottles, really went for it reciting names of my many enemies as I did so . Fairly banged ’em in relishing occasional sound of broken glass. OFT of course always features uttered in low decibel curses when violently recycling bottles- then my tenants. Oh! my tenants. Those foulest of foul fiends. That most loathsome of species.

With one days notice both have informed me they will “not pay any more rent”. Due in yesterday, they have, they report, fled home to Mummy and Daddy during the CV pandemic and are now somewhere in Europe. They, “hope for my understanding” . Not bloody likely. I am girding my loins

And so to midweek

Absolutely the perfect thing for housing freshly picked wild flowers.

Is this it? The dreaded?

From 1315 hrs today felt a runny nose and as if a cold coming on. Oh LORD

Blind panic.Then felt chest tightening up. Oh God this is it. Later realised it was my new-ish bra and tightened straps hoisting boobs up towards collarbone. Not tight lungs. Waited for fever headache/cough but nothing. forthcoming so far.. felt cold, horribly, bitterly cold- not hot, as led to believe, with eyes and nose running on daily permitted walk .

All I could think about was if I have got, it how horrible OFT would be to me particularly if other fam membs affected. .

“All YOUR fault. Look what you have put us through!” He would shout this then leave weight watchers chicken soup leave soup outside the self isolation zone (spare room) door. At least I might lose some weight.

Spent miserable day- as ever- wiping down fridge door handle, well all door handles actually plus piano keys and loo flush handles. Communicated location of death pack to eldest child. Just in case.

It is the uncertainty that is so dreadful- every cough/sniffle to torture us for months to come. This is a dreadful way to live

One good thing. Enrolled in a free online course. “Python for beginners”. Perhaps I can make something of what remains of my life after all.

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Saw first bluebells on bank near the steep hill yesterday. Sunny but howling, foul, cold winds. 9 deg at 1020hrs. Hand warmers STILL in use at end of March.

Our great Leader has the CV. So does Chris Whitty, Chief Medical Officer of all people. So much for saying we could all do our bit if only we sang happy birthday twice and washed hands for 20 seconds.

F and I watched scary thing on germ transmission and touching household objects and faces with fake germ gel and UV light last night. Put fear of God into us. F asked me what I would like inscribed on my headstone.

Cheerful.

Thought about it later. It would be,

Here lies.. (riverfiles blogger) 1959 – ?

“At least I wont have to get up anymore” ( the deceased was not a morning person)

Also, “No Tenant can whinge at me here” and “Thank God I will never have to sit through another boring, school play”

Talking of tenants had to get very stern with cheeky, spoiled, student boy who rents my flat in town. Rent from Feb March way overdue (27 days).

Said after many days of not replying to my querying email that he had been busy on an “intense academic assignment” and that he would rectify “soon”. He ended his email “Sorry for any inconvenience and have a nice day” !

Having conferred with National Landlords Association advice helpline on Friday I had to send him a fierce email yesterday saying rent to be “brought up to date” and this “not to happen again for any reason.” Those apparently are the buzzwords.

Money in account this morning. Phew. Daddy has come good.

Cheeky-boy tenant may think he can try to blag a rent holiday, due to Covid 19 chaos but my mortgage provider does not feel inclined to do same. Was about to have to contact his co-tenant’s rich Mother who acts as Guarantor to the Lease. No doubt the fur would have flown then. “Have a nice day” indeed!.

Being a Landlady has been without doubt the most trying and disagreeable episode of my life, hence Headstone reference.

Onto nicer things. Picked and identified some wild flowers with the children. Common dog violet, celandine, wood anenome and a pale violet (Viola reichenbachiana)

Continue reading Spring starts

The housemates bearing up. The Vicar called yesterday, ‘just to see how everything is”

OFT was in the garden. When I reported this contact later he said ‘How extraordinary he has never phoned before’

I said perhaps he was drumming up business for a funeral.

Sunny at last, endless blue sky and gorgeous, tweeting birds but lock down makes for stir crazy stuff. Is it the lack of routine? The boring housework- endlessly hauling soggy stuff out of tumble dryer and stacking dishwasher or organising the home schooling? Would so much rather be at work which is at least vaguely interesting.

There is nothing better these days than waking up and hearing silent sleepers. NOT hearing a cough from anyone that is.

Can’t help feeling we are all sitting ducks however. When will it strike? And whom?

Mammoth supermarket delivery yesterday- whole family gloved and unpacking, wiping down with anti-bacterial spray. Soaking fruit and keeping strict social distance round the garden table. At least they are delivering with plastic bags again. We need them for portioning up animal feeds

I am haunted by morbid dreams. Last night dreamed I was at my Mothers funeral again only this time part of the coffin was left open revealing her decomposing limbs.   When I asked the undertaker why, he looked faintly surprised said so many people were dying they could no longer make complete coffins and now they had to have only half a lid.

I stood at the funeral feeling utterly alone, (although it being my Mother, several hundred had come to pay tribute) and friendless. In despair.  Glad to wake up from that one.

Meanwhile something struck me day before yesterday. Day one of lockdown of course but something else. Couldn’t think what. Was it a birthday I had forgotten? Birthday of someone recently deceased? Something important or to be remembered occurred on that day.

Struck me later, it was our 19th wedding anniversary. An event which has not been remembered, celebrated, even alluded to for many a long year. 19 years. Can it really be? A different sort of lockdown.

Far from it. An embarrassment. Something to be swept under the carpet and never discussed in this union.

Has begun. Primroses scrambling up the banks blazing pale yellow- defiant. Lambs gambolling in the meadow, pigeons cooing. Just heard first Kingfisher on river.

We cannot move. Boris has made his pronouncement. Spoke to Joannie today. Timbo in residence. Blins too. J Still doing her needlepoint. Rode with Wheezy tonight cold, bitter cold but sunny. Into Woods. How gorgeous is our valley. So dramatic, so scooped out by glaciers of the past, fields plunging down to river either side. 2 days now the horses rug-free and on grass and rolling delightedly. Pressing grass into flat patches.

Went to inspect my flooded furniture today in a warehouse Sad. My holiday let dream exploded in a disgusting run of muck and slurry off a Farmers field in winter’s heavy rains. I wore a mask and gloves for the inspection. I declined all offers of coffee, use of loo etc too scared…

Lovely  T,  a.k.a Wonder woman, has been told she cannot attend again due to lockdown. Nor Sarah cleaner. Thank God we organised the return of VeVe and the foals  yesterday.  Ahead of what was planned but for once I concede that OFTs planning paid off.  14 days qu’ tine for her then sleeves rolled up, baby alarm clipped to her jeans and helping bloody well HELPING.

Made some banana bread tonight from 5 horrible, black over ripe ones. Delicious and very quickky consumed indeed.

Saw 2 peacocks aged 9 months old. I intend purchasing them. Got lost on way there and had hideous 20 min reverse down an unmetalled road with trailer on. Wanted to cry, so horrible to have to do. Took 20 mins of backward and forward. Tiny, rough narrow lane with banks rearing up each side. Branches scraping sides of my car noisily and thrusting in through my open window. Nowhere to reverse in and turn. Then stood 3m away from peacock wrangler within the coop. Social distancing terror.

Watched Series 8 Ep 4 of Homeland. Excellent. Thank goodness for Carrie and Saul.

Going to work, sending kids to school, holding or attending a dinner party, going to cinema, library or weight watchers, Orchestra even my Volunteer Gig in cafe at Hospice seem a distant dream now..

I am self isolating in the spare room.

Every morning at 4am I am woken by sound of cat trying to come in through ajar window I put pillow over my ear but he is persistent so I stumble over to window, snap up blind and shout SCRAM!

At work in the Hospice. Beautifuls sunny day. Azaleas out. Daffodils. Bright geen grass. No one who is a patient here is afraid of Covid 19. At least not for themselves. One man sadly told me how he had given away all his Charles Trywett shirts, many still unopened in the cellophane packs with cardboard under collar. With another seated at same table we talked about the superior quality of Marks and Spencer shirts.

Then I bumped off down the coridoor with my trolley.

Tupperware lid still very firmly on here weatherwise. Low, scudding grey clouds and howling wind. Primroses sprawling up the roadside banks, in defiance but still so cold after riding yesterday had to warm hands under tap for ages.

Had a filet steak for supper tonight. With Colmans English mustard and microwaved leeks and cauliflower. Just sublime. Could not seem to wake up today. Felt utterly exhausted and could have fallen asleep at any moment.